Homework
Moved from somewhere else.
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When I was fourteen, I was very lax about doing homework, particularly in Religion classes, which I was failing out of sheer boredom. (They consisted entirely of very boring Catholic history.) Therefore my irritated teacher told me to write a page entitled, “why it is important to hand in homework.” Believe it or not, I actually had the breath-taking stupidity to hand the following piece in. Thank God my teacher had a sense of humor. The next year instead of continuing to take Religion classes I was able to switch to Religion & Philosophy, the advanced class, where I got top marks.
WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO HAND IN HOMEWORK
Ninth September, 2002
It is important to hand in homework for many reasons. One that many people appreciate is so that you do not have to write about why it is important to hand in homework and about writing why it is important to hand in homework…
Another reason is that by handing in homework you can show you absorbed some information in class and didn’t go into a coma or read romance novels under the desk, or even draw moustaches on photographs of nuns in booklets about the Catholic Church.*
You may also stir your mind into thinking vaguely,
“Hey… what’s a Catholic?” which is a very good start, and even get onto more complicated questions like “why do priests have beards?” so that you can write a completely illegible and bewildering essay for some poor teacher who fantasises about being an accountant. This illogical piece of work will convince them to quit their job and make a lot more money than they do now, doing them a good turn.
You also do not have to write about homework when you would much rather be shoplifting or jumping off balconies dressed as Superman.** At such times you find the subject of homework very irritating.
However, the most important reason is so that teachers do not ask your parents about why you have to nurse your mother back to health every afternoon (leaving no time for homework) and that way you won’t be grounded for an entire year and have your pocket money cut off.
These are the best reasons I can think of as to why it is important to hand in homework.
* Two of my classmates did this last thing. Since we had to hand the booklets back in, they were kind of risking trouble.
** One of my friends elder brothers did this at one stage. He nearly broke both legs. I found this act sufficiently inspiring that I put it in here.
