Also posted at TARDIS Answering Machine Messages
Ninth Doctor: Hello, you’ve reached the TARDIS, we can’t come to the phone right now because… Rose, why are we recording this message? This isn’t even a real phone.
——-
TARDIS: Hello, this is the TARDIS speaking. I suppose you want to speak to the Doctor. The Doctor, it’s always the Doctor. Well excuse me, I’m the one doing all the time-travelling y’know! It’s not like the Doctor can do it by himself! Leave him stranded in Cardiff and precious little time-travelling he’d do then, no! Anyway, leave a message and it’ll eventually get back to big ears once he stops fiddling with my spatial displacement modulation circuits. Probably.
——-
Rose: Mum, if that’s you, you can stop calling now. I’m okay, alright? And you’ve used up all the tape for the answering machine with your forty-seven other messages.
Ninth Doctor: This is why I don’t do domestic.
——-
Ninth Doctor *from afar*: Oi! Mickey! What are you doing?
Mickey: Nuthin, Doctor.
*approaching footsteps*
Ninth Doctor: You haven’t been touching anything, have you?
Mickey: No way, I’m not messing about with any of that weird alien stuff.
Ninth Doctor: Good. I don’t want you stuffing anything up.
*receding footsteps*
Mickey: Hello, this is Mickey Smith. I’m in a time-machine, can you believe that? Anyway, you’ve reached the TARDIS. Jackie, yeah Rose is fine, I’m taking good care of her. Anyone else, leave a message, alright?
——
Rose: Hello, I’m Rose Tyler, and you’ve reached the TARDIS. The Doctor’s not here, I think he must have been eaten by an alien or something. Or else they’re actually old friends he met somewhere like Raxicoricophalovitorius. Oh my God, I think I actually said that right. Anyway, I’d answer the phone, but I tried to do that before and all the lights went out. So leave a message, and I’ll get the Doctor to get back to you when he gets back.
——
Ninth Doctor: Hello, this is the Doctor. Rose, I am not going to come get you. Absolutely not. Nope. I told you this would happen if you went off by yourself, but no, you just had to go off and explore, didn’t you? Well I’m just going to sit right here Rose, and keep on fixing the TARDIS. Maybe Ricky-boy can help you out.
*pause*
Oh, fine, but next time you’re getting out of it by yourself, you hear me?
