The Purple Dragon Blog

1.  If another child tries to take something off you, snatch it back and beam them over the head with it.

2.  If a teacher tries to take something off you, hang your full weight off it while kicking them repeatedly in the shin and continued the tug of war until the quelling older teacher comes over to talk to you as the trial teacher hands back the item to the little girl you took it off and rubs her legs aggrievedly.

3.  If you are uncomfortable, taking off your clothes is a clear option. Run around naked as a trial teacher pursues you holding a pair of underpants saying “Come back here and put some clothes on.”

4.  Decide that this is an excellent game and keep running under the table so that you’re on the opposite side of the table to the teacher.

5.  If a teacher has just mopped the floor, the appropriate action is to repeatedly run through the wet patches smiling gleefully until the teacher sends you all outside.

6.  When a teacher sends you all outside for running through wet patches on the mopped floor, go inside for a drink, decide you aren’t as thirsty as you thought you were and pour your glass of water on the floor.

7.  Collect all your friends so that you can run through it together.

8.  Complain to trial teacher that you’re thirsty like it’s not your fault no one’s allowed back inside now.

9.  Sand is only fun to play in if it’s wet.

10. If you keep getting caught carting buckets of water to the sandpit, try going to the drink fountain, taking a mouthful of water and holding it in your mouth until you can spit it out in the sandpit before the trial teacher can stop you.